Hit Me
by PancakesAndSunshine
Summary: After suffering abuse at Nate's hands, Amanda confides in someone she least expected: the one and only Nick Amaro. Can he be the one to recall her to life, or will it evolve into something more? *Rated T for sex, abuse, mentions of alcohol. *TRIGGER WARNING: Abuse*
1. Hit Me

**Hey guys! This is just a little fic I wrote because 1. I hate Nate, and 2. I love Nick and Amanda together! I hope y'all like this and if I get some good reviews, I will totally continue. Enjoy! R&R :)**

"Hit me," Amanda breathed. "Just hit me."

And Nate did. Over, and over, and over.

Why did she let him do this? She was a Special Victim's Unit detective, for Pete's sake. So why didn't she stop him? He liked it rough, but that was no excuse. Still, the fear in her heart was so deeply rooted that she didn't dare speak up. Each slap, each punch left both physical and emotional scars, along with the blades she would take to her wrist after each of Nate's "sessions." Night after night, she lost sleep- and some blood. Oh, how she longed to tell someone, like Olivia, or Fin, but every time she opened her mouth, the words wouldn't- couldn't- push past her lips.

And what if they thought she was lying? The thought of a rape-case detective being abused in her own home must have been preposterous to her coworkers.

She was brought up religious- always a good Catholic girl. But now, whiskey was her holy water, and the blade was her crucifix. By the time the razor passed over her body, she would have passed out from her "prescription" oxycodone. Her clammy skin would remain forever marred by the memories of her lover.

"I love you," Nate growled, kissing down her bruised neck. He ran his lips over his teeth marks in her collarbone and chuckled.

Amanda remained silent, and Nate grew angry. "I said, I love you," he repeated, more gruff this time.

"I-I love you too," she muttered.

Nate laughed once again and took her hand, leading her to the bed. He ran his hands up and down her sides, sending ominous shivers down her spine.

"I can't," Amanda whispered.

"Why the hell not?" he asked, his voice growing angrier by the millisecond.

Amanda swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in her throat. "I-I'm on my period," she lied.

Nate let out a large, annoyed huff and shrugged a jacket onto his shoulders. "Well fuck that then, I'm goin' out," he said gruffly.

"Okay… See you later," Amanda whispered, curling up in her blanket. She heard the door shut, and again Nate left to find another girl that would be willing to give herself up to him.

Amanda let out a shuddery breath and hauled herself into the bathroom. She threw up the taste of his skin and flushed it down the drain, where she wished her memories would follow. She took a few swigs from the open bottle of whiskey on the counter and slid down the wall.

"Why is this happening?" she whispered to herself. "Why me?"

Moments later, her phone buzzed.

"Shit," she whispered, seeing Olivia's caller ID flash across the screen. "Rollins," she answered after clearing her throat.

"Hey, Cragen's giving us the weekend off as long as we finish up some paperwork by tonight. Wanna come down to the station? A few of us are here, and we could get a drink afterward," Olivia explained.

Amanda took a deep breath. "Y-yeah, of course! I'll be down in a little," she replied.

"See ya," Olivia hung up.

Amanda took a deep breath and dragged her empty void of a body around the house in meager efforts to get ready. She expertly applied concealer to every visible mark, and especially to the dark circles under her bloodshot, restless eyes.

Finally, she mustered up the energy to shuffle to the station and wearily greet her coworkers.

"Damn, girl! Nate must've done a number on you tonight," Nick winked playfully.

Amanda flinched, but grinned back at him. "Shut up," she laughed.

She dropped her eyes back to her work, unaware that Olivia had caught her cringing.

"You okay?" Olivia asked, setting her pen down.

"I'm great," Amanda replied, keeping her eyes on the case report in front of her.

"Amanda," Olivia spoke, firmly yet quietly.

Amanda clenched her jaw. "Liv… I'm fine."

Olivia stood up. "Amanda and I are gonna take a break. We'll be back."

Nick looked up, his brown eyes filled with concern. "'Manda, you good?"

She nodded briskly as Olivia lead her to the break room.

Olivia took Amanda's hand gently in hers. " 'Manda…" she began.

Amanda quickly pulled her hand back. "I can't get drinks tonight. I need to leave," she said briskly.

Olivia looked at her, eyes full of hurt. "Amanda, please. You're really scaring me, honey."

Amanda shook her head a quickly cleaned up her area. She fast-walked out of the room, leaving her fellow agents confused and worried.

"She probably just needs space," Nick suggested, "She's been like that lately. Just give her time."

Olivia gnawed concernedly on her lip. "I know… I'm just worried, you know?"

Nick rubbed Olivia's shoulder. "Yeah, I get it," he replied. "Just let her be, okay? I mean, come on. It's Amanda. She'll call if she needs anything."

Olivia kept her eyes trained on the door. "I damn well hope so."

Meanwhile, Amanda was reeling.

She had given up on her chance to tell Olivia. Why couldn't she do it? Her opportunity was right there, and she didn't take it.

_It could've ended tonight_, she thought to herself. _You're so stupid._

"Fuck," she muttered, hearing a knock at the door.

Through the peephole, she was both relieved and shocked to see Nick standing on her front step.

Amanda cracked the door open. "Nick," she said softly. "You shouldn't be here."

Nick shrugged and leaned on the door frame. "You're not gonna invite me in? What happened to that Southern hospitality?" he joked in a mock drawl.

She gnawed her lip. "Please," she whispered. "Not now."

Nick set his jaw. "I'm really worried, 'Manda." He pushed his way into the apartment and locked the door behind him. He took her hand gently in hers and looked her dead in the eye.

"Is it Nate?"

Amanda dropped her eyes to her feet. "Nick, please. I can't talk about this. Not here."

"Fuck," he seethed. "That fucking douchebag…"

"Okay, okay. Calm down," she placed her hands on his chest.

Nick took a deep breath. "Alright, okay. Sorry. Look, 'Manda…" he began.

Amanda closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "I cannot talk about this here, I told you."

"Alright, then let's go. Come back to my place," he urged her.

She continued to shake her head as her eyes welled up with tears. "He'll be completely pissed," she said quietly.

"Come on, grab your go-bag. There's no way in hell I'm letting you stay here another night," he demanded.

Amanda chewed her lip and avoided eye contact. "Nick, I'm scared," she confessed.

He grabbed her hand and held it close to his rock-hard chest. "I'm right here," he whispered, pulling her into a tight hug. "Let's go get your things."

**To Be Continued… **


	2. Hold Me

**So, it seems like y'all liked my story! Here's Chapter Two :) Enjoy! **

Nick kept his eyes trained on Amanda's curled figure on the couch next to him. "Wake up, sleepyhead," he whispered, gently rubbing her thigh to draw her from her nap.

Amanda rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. "Hey," she smiled. She stretched out her arms above her head. "That was the most sleep I've gotten in a while," she admitted.

He scooted himself closer to her and draped his arm around her shoulders.

"Nick," she began.

"You don't need to say anything, 'Manda. Unless you wanna talk, of course." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear; his heart sank once he uncovered a healing bruise.

Amanda avoided meeting his eye.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him right now, Amanda. I swear to God," he hissed.

She tugged at his bicep with both hands. "Nick, please. Calm down."

"He buried his face in his hands. "How long?"

Amanda shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"How long, dammit?" he demanded, pushing himself forcefully off the couch.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and stared at the carpet. "Two months," she mumbled.

Nick slammed his fist against the wall. "A-are you fucking serious? Two months, Amanda? And-and you never bothered to tell any of us?" he raged. "I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch with my two fucking hands."

Tears spilled form Amanda's eyes. "Okay! Just stop yelling at me, okay?" A raging blush burned her cheeks and she felt like a child being reprimanded by her teacher. "God, like I don't feel bad enough."

Nick immediately returned to her side and placed a comforting hand on her back. "I'm sorry, Amanda." He pulled her frail body close, draping her legs over his lap. "I didn't mean to yell," he spoke softly.

She nodded against his shoulder. "I know. It's okay," she replied quietly.

He gave her a light squeeze as soft sobs escaped her lips. "I'm here for you," he promised.

"He just hits me, Nick. And I l-let him. I f-fucking let h-him." She shook with fury, and her grabbed her by the wrists and shifted her whole body straddling his lap.

"Ow," she whimpered quietly, his hands making brazen contact with fresh cuts.

"Oh my God…" he whispered. It was his turn to tear up. "Fuck. Amanda, please… Don't tell me you..."

She teared up.

He gently took her wrist and slowly pulled her sleeve up. An array of scars decorated her wrist.

"Jesus," he muttered. He looked into her eyes. "Stop. _Please_, Amanda. I am begging you- please don't do this. It's over now. It is over."

"I just…" she trailed.

Nick took her flushed cheeks in his hands. "Amanda, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," he said firmly.

She held onto the sides of his arms. "No. No, I'm going to do this. If I don't do it now, I don't think I ever will," she admitted. "I-I'm just so afraid. I'm so afraid he'll come after me. I'm a fucking federal agent, Nick. And I'm scared of him," she scoffed.

Nick pulled her into a standing position and held her tightly in his arms as tears spilled from the corners of her stunning blue eyes.

"I'm gonna keep you safe," he whispered into her hair. "I swear to God. Nobody will ever touch you ever again."

She sniffled against his chest as he swayed her back and forth slowly. "Nick," she murmured, curling her arms around his back, "Thank you."

He rubbed his hand in circles around her lower back. "You don't have to thank me, 'Manda. What can I do?"

She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. "Just hold me… Please," she whispered.

He nodded against her hair. "I can do that. I can absolutely do that. Come here." He lead her to the couch and pulled her onto his lap in a hug. "I'm here, Amanda. I am right here. I will always be here. I promise."

"Are you gonna arrest him?" she asked softly.

Nick kept his grasp on her and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna have to," he replied.

She took a deep breath. "O-okay. But he won't come after me, will he?" she asked, very childlike.

Nick shook his head. "There is no way in hell he's ever gonna lay another hand on you," he said firmly.

"I'm hungry," she pouted.

Nick couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

"I bet it's hilarious that I'm starving," she giggled, hitting his chest playfully.

He rolled his eyes, laughing. "Nah, I just… I'll order pizza."

"You just what?" Amanda's voice was more serious now.

Nick shook his head and dialed up Pizza Hut. "Nothing."

Amanda feigned offense and slipped out of his grasp. "Fine then. Bye."

She pretended to make her way to the door, resulting in Nick chasing her around the apartment, a grin on his face.

"Come back here!" he chuckled.

"You'll have to catch me!" she shouted from the kitchen.

He finally caught up to her in the hall and captured her tiny waist in his arms, lifting her in the air.

"Gotcha," he laughed. He carried her to the kitchen and set her on the counter.

Their breathing grew heavier as Nick drew closer to her.

Amanda's fingers hovered over the nape of his neck, sending chills down his spine. She wrapped her legs around his waist.

He rested his forehead against hers and looked at her straight on. "Are we doing this?"

Amanda's heart began to beat faster and faster. "Yeah."

At first, their lips were hesitant, but both knew what they wanted. He captured her top lip between his and ran his tongue over it.

Her heart launched into her throat, nearly stopping her breathing. Nick pulled her face closer to his and began to kiss down her neck. He sucked lightly on her pulse point, eliciting moans from the blonde. He nipped at her jawline and returned to her lips.

Dizziness crept into Amanda's stomach, reminding her to breathe. She pulled away and kept her eyes closed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Wow," he breathed heavily, swallowing down a lump in his throat. "Wow."

Moments later, the doorbell rang.

Nick chuckled. "Pizza's here."

**To Be Continued… (Leave a review?) **


	3. She Got it Bad

**Hey y'all! I'm so happy with all the reviews I've gotten- you guys are so sweet! Here's Chapter Three ;)**

Amanda yawned and stretched her arms over her head. She looked around and found herself in Nick's bed, but he was nowhere to be found.

She fixed up her mussed hair and made her way into the kitchen, where a box of half-eaten pizza lay open on the counter, accompanied by a few empty beer bottles.

Across from the mess, Nick was flipping pancakes in a skillet. "Morning," he grinned.

Amanda yawned once more. "Wow, pancakes? I didn't even know you could boil water," she joked.

Nick pouted playfully. "Aw, come on, 'Manda! These are some first-class flapjacks," he laughed.

She played with a strand of hair. "And would you explain to me how the hell I ended up in your bed?"

He slid a few pancakes on a plate, drizzled a perfect amount of syrup on them, and placed it in front of her. "Well, after you inhaled half the pizza, we had a couple drinks, and you fell asleep. I carried you to the bed like the gentleman I am and took the couch," he explained.

Amanda scoffed. "I'm more than capable of sharing a bed with someone, Nick. I'm a grown woman. I can keep my hands to myself," she reminded him.

Nick shrugged and took a seat next to her, setting down his plate. "I just didn't think it was right." He cut a piece of pancake and popped it into his mouth.

Amanda let go of her fork and knife, and they clattered onto the counter. "So what happened last night- our kiss? That wasn't 'right' either?" she spoke angrily.

He took a deep breath. "That's not what I meant," he began.

She stood up abruptly and grabbed her bag. "No, Nick. That's exactly what you meant."

She stormed towards the door, and Nick's heart broke. He ran to the her and grabbed her upper arm.

"Please, I didn't mean it like that," he whispered, eyes filling up with tears. "Please stay."

Amanda began to hyperventilate. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I-I just don't know what's happening to me. I'm so confused," she mumbled.

He leaned in to kiss her cheek, but she pushed him away gently. "We can't do this again," she said softly.

Nick's heart sank, but he agreed nonetheless. "We need to go down to the station and report this," he replied quietly.

"I'm sorry Nick," she began.

He cut her off and shook his head. "No, I understand. Seriously, it's okay. But we really need to head out," he muttered, walking past her briskly to collect his coat.

She chewed her lip; she knew he was upset, but true to his character, he was too stubborn to admit it. It's not that she didn't want him like that- she did. Desperately. But something in the pit of her stomach was telling her that this was a bad idea.

The car ride was uncomfortable, to say the least. Nick pulled up in front of the station and opened the door for Amanda. The two walked into the bullpen, greeted by Olivia and Fin.

Olivia pulled Amanda in for a hug. Amanda reciprocated for a change, finding comfort in the older woman's soft embrace.

"Are you feeling better?" Olivia asked, pulling away but keeping a grip on Amanda's waist.

Amanda smiled genuinely and nodded. "Yeah, Nick helped me out last night. And, uh, I'm real sorry for how I acted back there. You were just tryin' to help. But I really appreciate it, Olivia."

Olivia rubbed Amanda's shoulder. "Don't apologize. We all have those days," she grinned. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Nick stepped beside them. "Actually, she has to talk about it. Could you come here?" he motioned to Fin.

Fin nodded curiously and joined the triad in the center of the bullpen. "Wassup?"

Nick leaned closer to Amanda. "Do you wanna tell them?" he whispered.

A lump was rising in her throat, and tears prickled at the back of her eyes. "Could you do it?" she asked quietly.

He placed a hand on her back. "Of course."

Olivia frowned. "Out with it, Amaro."

Nick took a deep breath. "So, you guys remember Nate, right?"

Fin straightened up and gently chucked Amanda's chin to raise her eyes to his. "What the hell did he do?"

"He's uh, he's been abusing Amanda for the past two months," Nick managed, looking at Amanda who seemed as if she would crumble any second.

Olivia's eyes immediately became wet. "Amanda…"

"Please guys, don't treat me like a victim," she begged, looking at each of them in the eye.

Fin took her by the hand and pulled her into a hug. "You're not a victim, 'Manda. You're a God-damned survivor," he said firmly.

Amanda managed a smile through her tears as Olivia pulled her into another hug. "Thanks, you guys."

Cragen strolled into the bullpen and stopped when he saw the team rallying around Amanda. "What's going on here?"

"Cap, we just learned something pretty disturbing," Fin spoke up. "Y'know that Nate character? He's been abusing Amanda for two months."

Cragen immediately turned to Amanda. "Rollins… Why didn't you tell us?"

Amanda dropped her eyes to the ground. "I-I'm sorry Cap. It won't happen again," she mumbled.

"Damn right it won't, Amanda. Do you know why? Because I'm gonna make sure this asshat gets sent to a place where not even God gives mercy," Cragen announced adamantly.

Amanda chuckled lightly. "Sorry about this whole mess, guys."

"Amanda, you can't apologize for something like this. It wasn't your fault," Olivia replied.

Amanda shrugged. "Yeah, but two months? When this goes to court, they're gonna think I'm making it up just to get revenge on him or some bullshit like that."

Fin sighed. "Amanda, we will do everything we can to put Nate away for a long time," he promised.

"You know, you guys drive me insane, but I love y'all," she grinned.

Nick rubbed her back. "We need to take him in for custody," he spoke to Olivia and Fin.

Olivia nodded. "Y'know, as much as I wanna kick this asshole in the balls, you two go ahead," she motioned to Fin and Nick. "I'm gonna stay back with Amanda. It's probably better for Nate's safety that I do, anyway."

Amanda smiled. "Thank you," she whispered, sitting across from Olivia.

Nate and Fin headed out, determined looks on their faces.

Olivia shuffled a few papers together. "So… If I heard correctly, Nick helped you out last night?" she grinned.

Amanda rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help smiling at Olivia's bold curiosity. "Nothing happened, Liv," she replied.

Olivia shrugged, winking at her. "I never said that. You're sounding a little defensive there, Peach," she chuckled, using her pet-name for Amanda.

Amanda's disposition changed. She looked down at the wooden desk and bit her lip. "I kissed him, Olivia."

Olivia immediately looked up.

"I-I mean, he kissed me. Like, I wanted to kiss him- we were kissing each other, and- I mean for Christ's sake, he put me on his fucking kitchen counter- I really liked it but I-," she rambled.

Olivia began to chuckle.

Amanda's eyes widened. "Liv! This isn't funny!" Although she too began to giggle.

"You got it bad," Olivia crooned, smirking.

Amanda rolled her eyes and continued to laugh. She sighed and rested her chin in her hands. "I know, Olivia. I know…"

Olivia looked sympathetically at her younger coworker. "So what're you gonna do?"

"I don't know, Liv. I mean, this morning I kinda 'ended' things, so to speak," Amanda shrugged. "Like, he was all leanin' in for a kiss and I was all 'No, don't do that.' I'm a fucking idiot," she sighed.

Olivia smiled. "I wouldn't go as far as to say that you're an idiot, Amanda. But here's the real question. Do you have feelings for him?"

Amanda sighed and shook her head. "I can't, Olivia. Workplace fraternization rules- I mean, you know that."

Olivia didn't let up. "Do you?"

Amanda paused for a moment, opening her mouth wide enough to moisten her chapped lips with the tip of her tongue. "I-Olivia… I think I do."

**To Be Continued...**


	4. I Think I Love You

**Hey guys! Here's Chapter 4 :)**

Amanda's heart stopped when she saw a struggling Nate being escorted through the bullpen by an angry-looking Fin and Nick.

He locked his eyes onto hers and began to curse at her. "I'm gonna fucking kill you, Amanda, I swear to God!"

Olivia pulled Amanda close behind her. "You so much as look at her, and _I'll_ kill you," Olivia growled. She kept her eyes trained on Nate as Fin dragged him roughly by the collar into the interrogation room.

"It's over now, Amanda. He's never gonna hurt you again," Olivia promised firmly, holding Amanda close to her.

Amanda melted into her mentor's arms. "Thank you," she whispered.

Nick joined them, and Amanda flew tearfully into his arms, sending him staggering backwards.

"Woah there," he chuckled softly.

"We need to talk," she whispered.

He nodded and joined her in the break room, closing the door behind them.

"Thank you for helping me," Amanda said softly, sweeping the ground with her eyes.

Nick took her hand and kissed it. "I'm right here," he whispered as tears sprang from her eyes. He lead her to a cot and sat down next to her. "Fin's gonna give him hell," Nick promised.

Amanda huffed out a laugh. "How come you ain't in there?"

Nick shrugged. "It'd probably be better that I maintained a safe distance from him right now," he chuckled.

Amanda raised an eyebrow. "And they're trustin' Fin in there?" she scoffed.

Nick threw his hands up, smiling. "Aye, I don't make the rules, Sweet-Cheeks."

"Sweet-Cheeks," she whispered, blushing.

He reached over and ran his thumb over her cheek. "I can call you that, right?"

Amanda giggled. "Sure… Why not?"

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"I want you to know… That kiss was real. And I didn't mean to play it off like it was nothing. I'm really sorry," Nick explained quietly.

Amanda pulled him into a hug. "Nick, it's okay. I overreacted, alright?"

"Wh-Amanda? Overreact? Never!" he mocked dramatically.

She giggled, going red. "Shut up!"

"Come here," he whispered. He let his hands graze over her lower back before pulling her onto his lap.

"Should we really be doing this here?" she said quietly, feeling heat rise to her face.

Nick shook his head, grinning cheekily. "Nope."

Amanda had to sink her teeth into her lower lip to help herself from crying out as Nick swirled his tongue around her neck before biting it softly. He brought his lips to hers and let his hands wander where they wished.

"Amar-Oh my God," Olivia stammered, standing frozen in the doorway.

"Shit," Nick muttered, avoiding eye contact with Olivia.

Amanda laughed and wrapped her arms around Nick's neck. "It's okay, Nick. She knows."

He immediately looked up at Olivia. "You do?"

Olivia chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, I do. But if you make my Peach cry, you're gonna wish you weren't born."

Nick immediately released his hands from Amanda's bottom. "Yes ma'am," he laughed.

Olivia grinned. "Anyway, Nick, Fin wants you in interrogation." Her tone changed.

Amanda immediately tensed up at the mention of her situation. Nick felt it, and he massaged her shoulders.

"Shh," he whispered, rubbing her neck. "Liv's gonna be right here with you, okay?"

She nodded and Olivia immediately took Nick's place after he left the room.

"So I see everything worked out," Olivia grinned.

Amanda giggled. "Yeah… I dunno. Somethin's tellin' me that this probably isn't a very good idea," she confessed.

Olivia shrugged. "You never know until ya try, you know what I'm saying?"

Amanda nodded and leaned her head against Olivia's shoulder. "Yeah, I know what you're sayin'."

Meanwhile, Nick and Fin were grilling Nate.

"You're damn lucky I didn't run into you on the street, you punk-ass bitch. You have no idea what I'd do," Fin muttered, glaring at Nate from across the metal table.

Nick was posted cooly against the glass mirror, from which Cragen and Melinda watched on the other side.

Nate rolled his eyes. "It's not like I fuckin' raped her or anything," he mumbled, tapping his finger annoyingly against the table.

"Keep tappin' and I'm gonna bite your fucking finger off," Nick threatened, still leaning against the mirror.

Nate threw his hands up in surrender and crossed his arms. "We're not getting anywhere with this. Why the fuck am I still here?" he demanded.

"You wanna know why you're here? I'm sure Detective Amaro over here would love to tell you," Fin growled.

Nick walked slowly to Nate's side and pressed his hand down on Nate's shoulder. "You hit her, Nate. You abused her for your own pleasure. Now, if that's not fuckin' sick, I don't know what is."

"She wanted it. It was a game we were playing," Nate rolled his eyes again.

Nick's heart pounded in his head. He grabbed Nate by the collar and shoved him against the wall, keeping his eyes level with Nate's.

"You put her through hell for two months. And you know what? You're gonna be in hell, too. Only this time, you're going away for domestic violence and assault in the first degree. That's eleven years- no parole. And not only that, but you're goin' away for deadly battery of a police officer. That's another sixteen years with no parole. That's twenty seven years total, assuming that you don't get killed in there," Nick snarled in Nate's face. "I got friends on the inside, pal. I'm gonna make sure you suffer."

Nick released the man and he slumped to the ground. "We're done here."

Nick and Fin gathered their papers and exited the room, leaving Nate to be taken into custody by two guards waiting outside.

"Hey," Nick smiled, gently touching Amanda's shoulder. "Dr. Warner needs to take pictures of you for evidence."

Amanda licked her lips and nodded. "Alright."

Nick took her hand and lead her to Melinda's office. "Hey, we're here."

Melinda smiled warmly at Amanda and rubbed her shoulder. "Let's get you photographed, sweetie."

Amanda complied with each of Melinda's directions, turning every which way and pulling her shirt and pants off.

"I'm gonna need you to strip… Naked," Melinda directed quietly.

Amanda's eyes widened. "D-do I have to?"

Melinda nodded solemnly.

"I can leave if that makes you more comfortable," Nick spoke up.

Amanda shook her head. "It's okay. You can stay."

Amanda gingerly unhooked her bra and slipped off her underwear. The air conditioned sent shivers down her naked body. Never had she felt so violated; so humiliated.

Nick set his jaw as he raked his eyes over Amanda's battered figure. There were bite wounds scattered about her chest and bruising on her abdomen. Her bony ribcage was completely visible. He moved his eyes down to her legs, where his stomach lurched. An array of self-inflicted cuts lined her thighs.

"We're done," Melinda said softly. She hooked Amanda's bra behind her back and helped her redress.

As Amanda left, Melinda caught her arm. "Amanda, if you ever need anybody to talk to, I'm always here for you. Just know that," she smiled.

Amanda gave Melinda a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you, Mel."

Nick lead her out of the room. "Do you want me to take you back to your place?" he offered.

Amanda shook her head. "I can't be alone right now, Nick. I-if it's okay with you."

Nick nodded. "Of course, Amanda. Come on, I'll take you home." He wrapped his coat around her shoulders and helped her into the car.

"I don't know how to thank you," Amanda said softly as Nick pulled into his driveway.

"How many times have I told you- you don't have to thank me," he chuckled, helping her into the house.

She slumped onto the couch, and Nick joined her.

"Come here," he smiled, pulling her onto his lap. She ran her fingers along his collarbone. He opened his mouth to say something, but subsequently changed his mind.

"What were you gonna say?" Amanda inquired curiously.

His eyebrow furrowed. "How'd you know I was gonna say something?" he chuckled.

Amanda shrugged. "I dunno… I guess I just know these things," she joked. "So what were you gonna say?"

Nick pressed a loving kiss to her lips. "Amanda Rollins, I think I love you."

**To Be Continued...**


	5. Downhill

"Well well well, Mister Amaro," Amanda grinned. Her face blushed bright red, and she pressed her lips to his cheek. "I think I love you too," she whispered.

Nick kept a steady grip on her waist as a warm feeling spread through his chest. He couldn't help the smile that played across his lips. "I wanna do this the right way, Amanda."

She lay in his lap as he draped his arm over her stomach. "How d'you mean?"

Nick shrugged. "I dunno… I just wanna take you out on like, a _real _first date," he chuckled. "That old-school kinda love."

Amanda pulled his hand closer. "We can definitely do that," she giggled.

"Let's go out tomorrow, then. We could go anywhere you want," Nick offered.

Amanda grinned. "That sounds good," she said softly.

He sighed in realization. "Damn… I have to head to the station tomorrow to fill out some paperwork. Are you good with dinner?"

She snuggled into his shoulder. "Of course," she smiled. He kissed her cheek and lifted her into the air, his left hand around her shoulders and his right hand under her knees.

"It's late. Time for bed, Missy," he teased, nuzzling her neck as he set her down gently on the bed.

She smiled and pulled him close. "Are we at this stage? We're sharing a bed now?" she joked.

He nipped at her neck. "Shut up," he laughed, pulling her into a spooning position.

Suddenly, he felt her tense up.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

Amanda took a deep breath. "I'm still so scared, Nick. I don't know why, either. I-I just have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach," she whispered.

Nick squeezed her hand and brushed her hair away from her ears. "I'm right here, baby. Just go to sleep," he said quietly.

Her breathing began to steady and her eyes fluttered shut, and moments later, Nick followed suit.

The next morning, Amanda rolled over to find a handwritten note left behind by Nick. It read, "Good morning, beautiful. Breakfast is on the table. Maria is dropping off Zara at eight tonight, explain more later. Call me if you need anything. I love you."

She smiled and hauled herself out of bed, ready to face the day ahead of her.

Meanwhile, Nick was trying to barrel through his paperwork. Olivia stood behind him for at least two minutes before he noticed.

He dropped his pen and rubbed his face with his hands. "Hey, sorry about that. I'm kinda out of it today," he apologized with a tired smile.

She rubbed his shoulders. "Hey, it's no big deal. How's my Peach holding up?"

Nick sighed. "She's back at my place for now. I'm trying to get through this so I can get back to her."

Olivia ruffled his hair. "Hey, she'll call if she needs anything, right?"

He smiled and nodded. "You're right. Well hey- I have a question for you."

Olivia balanced herself on the edge of his desk and smiled kindly. "Shoot," she replied.

Nick took a deep breath. "Amanda is… She's amazing. I don't want to hurt her, Olivia. I'm afraid I will," he admitted.

Olivia winced. "Hey, I get what that's like. But to keep up a relationship this complicated, you have to trust yourself," she explained.

He shrugged, and she gently hit him on the shoulder with the back of her hand. "Trust me, I get it. Me and Bri… I didn't think we were ever gonna work things out. But look at us, Nick. We're fine. And you will be too, okay? Don't doubt yourself."

Nick smiled widely. "Thank you, Olivia. I mean it."

She nodded and returned to her desk.

Cragen stuck his head out just as their conversation concluded. He motioned Amaro into his office and shut the door after Nick stepped in.

"Look, I'm gonna come out with it. Amanda and I-" Nick began.

"Are in a relationship," Cragen finished.

Nick shrugged. "Yeah. And look, I know that workplace fraternization rules say-"

Cragen cut him off again. "Quite frankly, at this point, I don't give a damn what workplace fraternization rules say. You're one of the few people she listens to, and I need someone level-headed to take care of her right now. But I'm telling you now, Amaro. If this ends badly, you know the consequences."

Nick nodded. "Thanks, Cap. I get it. And trust me, I will take care of her," he spoke firmly.

Cragen looked on as Nick strode out of his office.

"How's Amanda?" Fin approached Nick.

"She's hanging in there," Nick replied.

Fin nodded. "Hey, I'm glad you're the one lookin' out for her. Just make sure she knows that we're all here, ai'ght?"

Nick smiled and nodded. "No problem." He excused himself from the conversation as his phone vibrated at the edge of his desk.

"Amaro," he answered.

"Nick," he heard Amanda's voice whisper.

"Holy shit, Amanda, what's wrong?" he asked quickly.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Nick heard a voice in the background. He immediately threw his phone to the ground and ran out of the squad room.

"It's Amanda," Olivia said, her voice empty as she strapped on her gun, with Fin close behind.

Their standard-issue Altima halted to a stop behind what was obviously Nick's recently-deserted car, the door still hanging open.

The two rushed up as Nick quickly drew his gun from his holster, coming upon his front door, which was slightly ajar.

He nudged it open with his foot and crept around the house silently. Soon, he heard soft, puppy-like whimpers from his bedroom.

He cleared the halls and burst into his bedroom, his heart shattering.

"Oh my God..." he managed.

In front of him was a sight he never wished to see. Amanda was gagged, accompanied by a strip of duct tape over her mouth. Her hands and feet were tied to each post on the bed, and her clothes lay torn and scattered around the floor. Her bra and panties were hardly doing their job.

Aside from that, her injuries were heartbreaking. Her neck was battered and bruised, and her lip was split. Her cheeks were raw and reddened from consistent slapping.

Nick quickly knelt next to her and propped up her neck with his hands as Olivia and Fin stood looking on, almost too shocked to move. Fin was already dialing 911.

"I'm so sorry," Amanda whispered feebly.

He shook his head rapidly. "Baby... who did this to you?" he said softly. "I was only gone for an hour..."

"H-hospital, please," she muttered.

The ambulance arrived shortly after Fin's call, and Nick attempted to steady his breathing as the ambulance sped off toward the hospital.

"Oh my God," he dry-heaved, leaning over into a few bushes. Olivia rubbed his back, trying to hold back the tears prickling behind her eyes.

"Hey," she spoke soothingly. "Try to relax. I'll drive you to the hospital. Come on."

Nick shook his head, a bitter look on his face. "This is all my fucking fault," he seethed. "God DAMN!" he shouted, falling to his knees.

Suddenly, multiple squad cars pulled into his driveway.

"What the fuck is going on?" he muttered.

Olivia sighed and looked at her distraught partner. "This is a crime scene now, Nick. Y-you can't stay here."

Nick let out a huge breath. "Oh my God, Zara's coming tonight… This cannot be happening." He ran his hands through his sweaty hair and closed his eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey," Olivia whispered. "Look, you, Amanda, and Zara can stay with me for as long as you need. Brian's up in Utah visiting his sick mom for the next month. Everything will be okay." She reassured him in the way only she could.

Nick took a deep breath and nodded, and Fin rubbed his shoulder. "Olivia will get you to the hospital. I'm staying back to investigate the scene. Everything will be just fine," Fin spoke firmly.

Olivia lead Nick to the car, and the ride was silent all the way there.

In the waiting room, Nick slumped into a nearby chair. "Jesu Christo, por favor. Dime qué hacer. _Por favor_," he whispered, his eyes shut tight.

Olivia rubbed his shoulder. "Look at me Nick."

Nick opened his eyes to meet hers.

"Amanda will be okay. You will be okay. We will all- be- okay."

He took another deep breath and nodded, finding strange comfort in Olivia's words. "Alright… Okay."

A doctor strode into the room, and just as he uttered Amanda's name, Nick shot up from his seat like a rocket.

"Detective Rollins has sustained multiple minor injuries. There is nothing at all life-threatening, fortunately. Her injuries can be treated within a few hours. I could release her tonight, but I recommend she stay overnight. Although, she does want to leave tonight," the doctor explained. "Also, is there a… a Nick? She was saying that name multiple times as she slipped in and out of consciousness."

Nick couldn't help the small smile that spread across his face. "Um, yeah. That was me," he replied.

"We're changing a few of her bandages, and she should be able to go home soon," the doctor smiled.

Olivia pulled Nick into a tight hug. "I told you," she whispered.

Nick closed his eyes and allowed himself to melt into Olivia's arms. "I know."

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
